If there’s one thing that guys fear the most when it comes to Online Dating, it’s that FIRST phone conversation.
Sure it’s easy to write messages to women from the comfort of your own keyboard but you can’t do that forever because eventually you MUST meet up with her in person.
Now, as I mentioned in other articles, there is a way to meet up with women without talking to them on the phone but there’s always some girls who do want to chat before meeting in person.
That’s OK… and it’s nothing to fear!
You just need to be prepared when speaking on the phone and it’s crucial that you follow all the “rules.”
What are the secret “rules” for phone conversations with women?
Here’s my list and make SURE you pay attention because if you don’t, you’ll screw it up and you WON’T be meeting her in person.
- Avoid Neediness! – This should go without saying but neediness will KILL attraction every time! Always avoid needy behavior by demonstrating you’re a HIGH value guy. If she starts to suspect you don’t have a lot of options and you’re placing too much importance on her… it’s game over!
- Phone Scheduling – Be sure you have an idea of her schedule and know the best times to call her so she’ll ANSWER, eliminating the need to leave her a message. There are certain times in the evening that are IDEAL for placing calls because you know she will be home. Be sure and take advantage of that.
- Have a Script – Now I’d rather you NOT memorize an entire phone conversation and recite it like you’re giving a speech once you get her on the phone. That would come off as fake, and it will make you too nervous. But it helps to have an idea of what you’re going to talk about. Write up some notes if you have to… (Hey, even George Costanza did this with success.)
- Always Keep It Fun! – Make sure you keep the conversation light hearted and positive. Women are emotional creatures and WILL become MORE attracted to you if you make them laugh consistently! It’s important to keep the positive momentum going that you had from emails. Did one of your messages really get her going?? Go back to that and use the same humor!
- Avoid buzz killers! – When chatting on the phone, you always want to avoid those “buzz killing” topics like ex-girlfriends, a bad day at work, a recent death in the family, what’s wrong with the world, economy etc, politics… really anything bad that’s happened recently. Remember, it’s all about positive momentum and nobody likes a “buzz kill.”
- Don’t Talk Too Much! – That’s right, if you’re one of those that likes to talk about yourself all the time, try and curb it when talking to her on the phone. The ideal conversation is really about 75% her and 25% you. Now this will vary at times because of different personality types but you want to guide the conversation into fun positive directions and avoid dominating it.
- Be Busy On The Phone – What I mean by this is try and be involved in something while talking to her on the phone. You know how women ALWAYS do this to guys… well do it right back! Women will often be driving, shopping, working out or something similar while chatting with guys. Well, you can do the same by being on your computer, working in the garage, or whatever while talking to her. It keeps the energy level high and also contributes more to the conversation. It also helps to avoid those awkward silences.
- Keep It Short! – There’s no need to have a first phone conversation go over fifteen minutes or so. In fact, even shorter is better. If you really hit it off then it’s OK to go longer but typically you want to keep it brief. The best thing to do is get her laughing and then get off during a high point in the conversation. It takes some practice but once you perfect this art, you’ll have a lot more success.
- Talk Slowly – What I mean by this is talk with confidence and swagger. In most cases, talking fast assumes nervousness and you want to avoid that. Talk like you’re chatting with a friend.
- Know How To Leave a Message – Back before cell phones we had to worry about leaving messages on her machine every time we called her. Now we only need to do it once and that’s after the first phone call. (This assumes you did not text her first.) When you do leave a message be sure it’s quick, clear and to the point. Don’t try and get cute as that will come off too “try hard.”
Ok, there are your first phone conversation rules. Stick to them and you’ll have her begging to meet you in person!!
Now if you’re reading this and thinking to yourself, “I’d like to learn MORE about phone conversations and exactly what to say to her” then I recommend you check out my ebook, “Internet Dating Mastery.”
In it I go over SEVERAL sample phone conversations I’ve had with women in detail. I also go over the BEST times to call women and I even reveal my super sneaky, but HIGHLY effective “standard phone message” that gets her calling me back EVERY time!
Also, once you learn my funny little “script”, you won’t believe how easy it is to talk with women and you’ll be able to get first dates set up consistently and automatically!
